Parts

Yesterday I saw a dream.

I was a candle
beige,
roughly the size of your palm
in a room with an early moon.

Burning,
giving off all my light
melting one drop at a time.

And you were there too, collecting all my parts as they fell.

Me

Bright lights
New dresses
One red and one black too
That new house
Old wine
Spending money as you blink
Giving me all your time!

But hey!
Me not an ocean here!
Me just a mug
Can hold it only till the brink
Be it hurt or love
And when you stuff in that extra care,
Me starts spilling hormones everywhere!

So, sweetheart, it’s okay to lemme fall a few times!
Me made of steel
So won’t break like a glass
Me don’t like so much attention
But like to stand first in class

Me gonna serve you with juice in the morning
And with water when you thirsty
Me knows you want me to give you wine too,
Even though you never ask.
Me would,
but me too ordinary for that…

Me not presentable
Not slender like the other few
Dents here and there, from falling.
Me very simple,
Often afraid of drying and ending up empty someday
So much in love with you that Me knows Me don’t deserve you
So just waiting for you, to lemme down once.

This is what I sat and wrote about by the River…

I get ready
I choose my finest dress
I step into pencils
And click out of my address

To another,
hosting a party in through the big, red gate
I do like red,
But will have to excuse this date.

I cross the big gate and walk towards the river
Rubbing the blue robe on the street all through the way
I can’t walk fast so shall I rather try to run?
So that I break them heels to make an excuse to throw them away?

I reach halfway, still clicking on the ground
It’s getting dark, I see fewer people around
It’s good because that is what I would like for tonight
Just me, a pen-a paper, watching the flowing river in the moonlight.

I finally reach the banks, it must be cold
Cause’ the only folks I see, they shiver
My skin doesn’t move, not an inch
As I stand there straight, looking right into the river

I climb downstairs, now I am closer
Just a few steps and my hands will be wet
It’s the Ganges and we worship it first with its water in our hands
Before our feet inside it we set.

Now it’s silent, I can’t hear a soul
Only the water, flowing
Touching my soul.

I sit,
I want to stay there
Till the color of my robe matches the color of the sky
Till when there are plenty of sparkles
shining out of my eyes.

I want to sit by the river
And think of the times
When I was there barefoot
And my clothes didn’t shine
When dad would push me in
Making a big, thunderous sound!
But instead of sailing,
My ship would drown!

I want to sit by the river
And think of how
He would catch hold of me
And pull me out somehow

“Ready for another push?”
He wouldn’t ask, I wouldn’t allow.
Next moment, I would be in the water again,
Struggling to swim somehow!

I want to lie by the river
And think about you
About the similar peace
That I would get with you…

I want to touch the river
As if it was you
I will swim through it tonight thinking it was you
I want to hold it and kiss it thinking it was you
But damn!
It would slip out of hands as if it was really you!

I want to walk by the river
Thinking of my friends
My priceless possessions,
My everlasting trends
My babies, my parents
My strength, my ears
With whom I have shared all my laughter,
My fears.

I will not waste a second thinking about the people who left
They don’t matter anymore, not because they left
But the ones who managed to stay even after they left
Are the people I will sit and smile about by the river…

I will think about the relations that lived
Will not whine about the ones whom life dismissed
But those which fell off weak even after I built them for years
Are the ones I will sit and cry about by the river…

I will wipe off my tears,
When it’s the break of dawn I see,
Now I will let go of the gold
And let go of the heels

I will hide them
And pretend as if I lost them in the dark!
Now I am barefoot again and suddenly my eyes have a spark!

I am waiting,
Maybe dad would come and push me back into the river?
Wondering if now he would ask for permission since we are older?
Hoping this time, I will sail through the river
Explore a direction I had been to never.
Hoping I will find my way back home, like ever
To the people we call as family, or rather call them forever?

I will not forget to think about the people I love
Whom I couldn’t have with me, forever?
Whom I dream about every day,
For whom I could get locked up in a cellar

Whom I wish get everything they ever want in their life
Love, success, compassion in their life
Whom I could give up my dreams for,
Let alone my life
These are the people I will sit and Pray for by the river
These are all the people I will sit and write about by the River…

This life… and stuff

I ride to home,
I don’t know way
I still pedal,
pedal away

I don’t know nothing
I know enough
That there is a light,
shining my way.

I see the stars
Illuminate,
and I see the Moon,
moving the waves.

I stop and stare,
at the empty road.
I don’t know where
I am supposed
to be at this time
of this year
am I fine?
Are things clear?

I don’t know nothing,
I know enough,
That Sun’s gonna shine,
as the morning comes.

I see the light,
I see the rain,
I see a rainbow,
from my window pane.

I rush outside
couldn’t get enough.
I never got enough
Cause’ it’s never enough.

I see the stars
Illuminate,
and I see the Moon,
moving the waves.

I look again
Cause’ its love.
It has these scars,
and its still love.

And then I know
why these different beings
still fall in love
with these flawed things?

Cause’ it the eye of the beholder that defines Beauty, as you must have heard.
Well that’s true
Well that’s true.

Then I meet these trees
and they hide my love, they hide the Moon!
But I ain’t angry,
Cause’ they let me play!

This game of surprises
that nature offers
You never know when u get to see love again
and say goodbye, only for a while
When there’s morning, u know.

I give up pedals,
I take to legs.
Just have 2,
just enough.

I feel the breeze
talk its talk
I can’t decipher, but I can hear
so who cares?
Well I don’t.

I am content this time, with just hearing.

I live a mess
I thrive for peace
I die for love
and extra cheese!
I go back home,
with the wind on my side
I open the window,
and it revives!

And I thank the Lord,
for all the love,
for a life and stuff
for this life… and stuff.

 

While in-Love:

Take me with you
Take me to the End of the skies!
Baby skip the hellos, goodbyes
And let’s start living our dreams
Let’s BE-WILD!

Baby bear with me when I shout in my sleep
Move your hands on my hair, kiss me to sleep
Take me…
Take me for a walk to the End-of- the world,
Sweetie parade your comfort in your shoes and I’ll flaunt all the pain in my heels
Let’s talk out of senses and loose our grip on the feels
Let’s BE-HIGH!

Let’s break all the fences in between
Let’s tell them that we know how to be
Be WILD-IN-LOVE!

Baby take me to the depths of the world!
Let’s swim with the fishes and you pick me those pearls
Let’s bring alive the things we wrote on our list
And I don’t mind if at times we talk with our fists
As long as we TALK-OF-LOVE!

Baby take me to your room and make me your queen
I’ll talk through my eyes, sweetie try to glean what I mean
It’s not hard cause you know what I mean
I mean Love.

Baby let’s hold our hands and spread smiles
Feel lucky for all those little whiles
That we got to live in each other’s dreams
When we got to be as wild as we wanted to be

Baby take me to the Heavens with you!
We’ll go hand-in-hand no matter what comes through
Let’s compliment all our Gods on the pair that they made come true
Let’s BE-IN-LOVE!

they didn’t teach me to speak a language that they understood

There is this needle
In my head

It goes in and out
And in and out
All through the day
So bloody pointy I don’t know who sharpens it while it’s already at work, ALWAYS.
It’s unbreakable too, at least that’s what I have discovered.

I didn’t tell Them about it.
Looks like they speak a language that I do, too
But they understand a completely foreign language that I Know nothing about!
So it’s hard to explain them, about this needle

I don’t know may be unknowingly they played their roles too,
In sharpening its parts, its tip.
I think they did it when they forgot to teach me to speak the language that they understood.

It’s so hard being in here,
In this dark room with windows
Where the light pokes the wounds instead of healing them.

And then suddenly everything! This and that and yes that in the corner too,
Adds onto the pile
There are so many needles now
All of them trying to bind me,
Put me through their hollow parts
Crush my ends, spit on me just to be able to crush me all the more!

Till when I fit in
When I finally give up and sew my dear tongue
And my ears and my lips and then my heart
Damn! Their points bite and rip apart my skin
And they think that they are making me beautiful
Shit, they think that they are making me better.

Just like that man, who plucks the flowers and puts them on her tiara
He thinks that he did those selected few a favor,
“You are the best ones so you got picked, do you understand that?”

“How will they?”, I ask him!
Man they don’t understand the language that you speak!
Lucky are the ones, who aren’t that perfect,
They aren’t picked so soon.
They remain intact with their souls
A little longer
Until they die and fall down on their own will.

Running

I was running out of words

As I have run out of feelings

There are cuts, burns

But they never make me cry

There are people, scary

But I never speak in shriek

My voice is firm since a while

I don’t care what people say

There are going to say anyway

So I let them.

I think we all are waters

Some boil underground

Some are frozen over hills.

But I am the one who comes in your tap

Since the one who is running is only me.

I have lost a few and I don’t want to get them back

Since, I feel I lost them for good

Or may be that they left me for good

Their own good

Maybe they are better off without me

Because I am the one who comes in your tap, not them

Some use me, some save me, some throw me away

But I am always running

I don’t know from what, or whom

I don’t know when God has planned to turn off the tap

Or if He has plans to give me another direction

But today

I have got to run

Because that’s the only thing I know.

giving love is so difficult?

them – it’s your birthday week, tell us what gift do you want?

me– love.

them– What? We’ve got dollar bills, don’t you want something else? Dress? A watch maybe?

me– no, just love.

them– Ask for something which we can give.

My School Bag

My School Bag

A lovely place where I keep my things

I hang it everyday on me like wings.

My books, my copies, all fit in it!

Its red, hope its clear why I love it?

Always keeping it beside me on my chair I sit.

I open it, close it whenever I need any book,

For pencil box, lunch box here I can look!

I carry it on my back while walking on the road,

It is willing to carry any kind of load.

I wash it regularly so that it looks neat and smart,

Its place it always near to my heart! 🙂

P.S- I know its childish, but school bags are for children after all! 😀 (The School Days)

MY BREATHS

I have been dreaming lately

dreaming of us, of our possibilities, the love

but more than that, of jobs

which I have to complete

before I breathe my last

before someone breathes his first

I have to do this for the world

for there is a reason I have been given with this breath

I have to make God proud for introducing me in his play

I want to play fair and I definitely want to win

Not His battle but my own

Though sweetheart you will always be in all my breaths

But this is very much above my wishes, above me

and certainly above you.