I allow you

What am I gonna write about today?

Is it gonna be about me or you?

If it’s about me, then I’ve got a few lines on my forehead.

If it’s you, you just got a Ready -> Get -> Set

Go! Live your life the way you please! I a-love you!

I heard your complaints so, please! Break all the chains yourself, cause I have lost the strength and have lost the keys!

Thinking I wouldn’t need them again.

But now I wanna set you free, cause love doesn’t bind, does it? It listens

So, as I write this today, now no other day

Shall I tell you to do anything for the sake of me,

I have said enough already.

Nor shall I ask you to not do any shit for the sake of our future-to-be.

I Release You, Open, no more boundations,

And you shall get all my love till my heart permits

But only love is what I shall give, you don’t get to get me.

Cause’if you do want me by your side when we breathe our last, then I should tie you up to myself, tight,

and lose the keys again. 

Advertisements

While in-Love:

Take me with you

Take me to the End of the skies!

Baby skip the hellos, goodbyes

And let’s start living our dreams

Let’s BE-WILD!

Baby bear with me when I shout in my sleep

Move your hands on my hair, kiss me to sleep

Take me…

Take me for a walk to the End-of- the world,

Sweetie parade your comfort in your shoes and I’ll flaunt all the pain in my heels

Let’s talk out of senses and loose our grip on the feels

Let’s BE-HIGH!

Let’s break all the fences in between

Let’s tell them that we know how to be

Be WILD-IN-LOVE!

Baby take me to the depths of the world!

Let’s swim with the fishes and you pick me those pearls

Let’s bring alive the things we wrote on our list

And I don’t mind if at times we talk with our fists

As long as we TALK-OF-LOVE!

 Baby take me to your room and make me your queen

I’ll talk through my eyes, sweetie try to glean what I mean

It’s not hard cause you know what I mean

I mean Love.

Baby let’s hold our hands and spread smiles

Feel lucky for all those little whiles

That we got to live in each other’s dreams

When we got to be as wild as we wanted to be

Baby take me to the Heavens with you!

We’ll go hand-in-hand no matter what comes through

Let’s compliment all our Gods on the pair that they made come true

Let’s BE-IN-LOVE!

One moment we burst, like never before

and collide through our skins,

Our words are hot, bodies cold,

and anger takes on a ten fold.

 

Then it rains,

and we drop our temperatures from the seventh floor

We integrate.

You break into drops and fall into me

I turn into Upsalite,

accepting all of you in.

 

Now we have our days,

cohesive, tight, fitting right into each other

believing death is our only bitch

that can throw us apart.

 

We reside on the seventh cloud

with passion in the wind

riding through our sins

passing out every night, just to wake up all anew.

 

But then we burst again, like never before

colliding through our skin

hotter words, colder bodies

riding through our sins.

 

So we let go and fall back to the Start

With number one we begin again

Levels of doucheness

Margins of pain

 

But hey! Darling, I don’t care

of the number of cycles we repeat through,

for as long as you are standing at the Start with me

I am always ready to begin anew.

 

 

Without his hearing aid he goes like, “su? su? su?” noo..not susu :p

My grand dad was a teacher by profession. He used to teach full time at a Gujrati school and in the spare hours took part-time classes for that little extra money.

Unlike now, parents in those days (I am talking about the 90’s) were not so casual with spending money on tuitions. They expected the school to give complete education to their children and even if the kids didn’t get that complete package, they wouldn’t mind. No one had any proper definition of that complete package. Whatever the kid learned at school was considered enough.

But now, the sky is the limit. All cities are flooded with coaching classes. Teachers at school lure students into joining their after-school classes for extra/good marks in their exams. All that parents want these days is their kid to be scoring high, hence they all end up in paying for the second, simultaneous school for their kid.

Coming back to 90’s now, my grand dad used to be one of the most sincere teachers but unfortunately his students were the most insincere ones. They would never listen to him and would always make him shout at the top of his voice.

I think he used to imagine himself standing at the top of the Himalayas and shout as if wanting his voice to reach the climbers on much lower levels.

“Come! There is a light at the end of the tunnel! Don’t lose hope my dear children you will definitely learn your lesson!”

Constant shouting made him lose his hearing power. Now his drums don’t beat with the required intensity and hence all sounds reach him compressed and dimmed.

Most of the time now while we both sit together and chat, he goes on like, “su? su? su?”

Nooo not susu, hehe. The Gujrati word ‘Su’ stands for the English word ‘What’.

So the other day he underwent a problem while using his a year-old smartphone (yes he still can’t operate it properly,  well I can’t blame him for it) and came to me for help. He has already taken lessons from his son, daughter, son-in-law and also his grand daughter (that is me) but sooner or later forgets all of it!

“I was just sitting outside on the sofa and I tried calling you but the call didn’t connect, even though I saw that you weren’t talking to anyone else at that time. Is my phone sick? What is the problem?”

He often tries to be all funny and stuff but his jokes mostly don’t manage to make me laugh, and I have to force a ‘ha-ha’ at times because he complains that I am boring. Lol can you believe it?

“No I am sure there must be some problem with the network, your phone is all fine.”

“Natwar? Ave aa natwar kon che bhai?” (meaning, now who is this natwar?)

Well yea I admit that I don’t fall for his deliberate jokes but this was totally unintentional and God! I had to laugh it out loud!

“hahahaha nooo it’s not Natwar! I said NETWORK!” (Natwar is a Hindu-male given name)

Then I made him call on my grand mom’s number and immediately we heard a ring tone and he was satisfied that his phone was working fine.

“But why can’t I call you? Is it your phone which is sick?” 

Com’on now! My phone is Samsung J7, it is new.

“no, it’s just the telecom operators who are sick!”

He is a century behind in technology and with God’s grace manages to dial numbers alone. When I told him that I was using a Vodaphone network and he was using Airtel and how the wifi at our home was BSNL, he started swearing mofos at the telecom industry because it was too much for him to handle! :-p

I still laugh when I think about it so I thot why not pen it down? (I mean digi-pen it down ;))

Good night! 🙂

She wished her goodnight and went to bed, wondering about all the emotions a laugh could contain

The night had fallen and the old couple had just finished their dinner. The wife was afraid due to her husband’s ill health since a few days and today they had finally decided to go to the doctor.

The only person living in their house apart from the two old birds was their grand-daughter. The old man had been in and out of his health for a few years and so their visits to the nearest hospital had been very frequent, most of which ended up in a week’s stay in the blue ward. Blue, because the curtains, bed sheets and uniforms, the sky, the veins and sometimes even the wall paints, they were all blue.

The little girl took a scarf and left the house to call for a transport. The hospital was a minute’s walk from their place but his grand-father was not in a condition to even take a few steps on his own.

The auto arrived in no time. The girl sat first, then sat her grand-mother and so on. This arrangement was proposed by her so that the old man wouldn’t be too troubled in moving in and out.

They reached the hospital in approximately 50 seconds or even lesser and were climbing those few stairs to the doorway.

“You should only take the two-bed ward for tonight, the one which is on the first floor. I don’t want you to be awake all night due to the lack of proper beds in the general ward.”

They had been to that hospital for quite a few times now to know which floors had what rooms and what number of beds.

To what the woman softly replied, “yea yea, this is the least of my worries right now.”

The receptionist looked at the girl and smiled. He had often seen her coming with food, tea, clothes and also with different people to the hospital. Many times she herself would clear all the bills at the end, of course with the money that came out of her grandmom’s little red bag tied in knots that always took more than a while to open. And since till-date all the bills had been cleared on time, the hospital staff had a certain trust developed for that family.

The three of them waited while the doctor was examining another patient in his cabin. The old man was growing very impatient and kept on peeping in. Finally, the man, or rather the only man in a white uniform called them in.

After a few minutes spent together, the old man was sent to the adjacent room for getting an injection. The old woman came out with a prescription which she handed over to her grand-daughter and went inside the room to help her husband.

Meanwhile, the girl ordered for the medicines and again spent a few minutes untying the knots of that red bag before she could receive the tablets.

They reached home in the same arrangement in which they had left it. It was 22:30 by then and they were all tired. After the old man had taken all the prescribed medicines, the girl and the woman started discussing the total expenditure at the hospital.

“I only paid 90 bucks for the tablets. How much did you pay for the injection and the consultancy fee?”

“Waaaiit, I didn’t pay anything to them, I will go and pay them tomorrow morning. I was so busy looking after him that I didn’t pay attention elsewhere.”

She started laughing. Now both of them, the woman and the girl were laughing their lungs out. They didn’t know what was so funny.

“I think the staff at the hospital knows me so well that now I don’t even have to worry about paying their fees anymore!” She laughs between her words. “I can just walk in and out wherever I want to, it’s like a park now, we keep visiting it for restoring your grand-father’s health!”

Now the old woman started to laugh so loudly that the little girl got scared, for a moment, horrified! She could hear the lungs of her grand-mother scratching, the same noise that comes out when two metals fiercely rub against each other. She stoped laughing. There was sadness now, and all the humour flew away. She could see her grand mother still laughing to herself and knew, that deep down that old woman was so scared that her worries were coming out in the form of a grim laugh.

She wished her goodnight and went to bed, wondering about all the emotions a laugh could contain.

P.S- A laugh is a laugh at the end of the day!

No matter why it filled our lungs, it’s still a great exercise!

Good night! : )

dear you

Dear You,

I was wondering maybe one day we meet again

And you come out of your way and say hello

I will obviously be lost in your eyes, I know, I will

So it’s gotta be you who’s got to break the ice

Talk about anything! Say the weather?

Or about how bright the moon was to shine in some time

Cause’ my Sun was, no wait, has always been you and for some reasons I have been living in the dark since a while

I will start to cry, so sure I will

But then I know we will be in public and you might have brought a company

So I will negotiate it for a lump in my throat

Will we stop by the stationery and get a pen?

Maybe we can Share our numbers again

Just to wash them off our palms in the rain

Or maybe the sweat? Well yea I would be too nervous to explain

I will go home and type your name in the search bar, stalk you down

I have got children of my own but then God! We are once again in the same town!

I still miss you! I hope it’s not a sin right now

I know, the man whom I kissed at the church will forgive me somehow

He has been giving me all his love without a single demand

But I had already poured all of mine into this person with my number on his hand

I will obviously ask you to come over, if only I have the strength

I could introduce you to my baby son and my daughter, she is ten!

They don’t look like you, God I wish they could!

If only that day we had talked that shit out, maybe they would

It’s a small town, my home will be somewhere around the corner, I am sure

But then what if you are busy like always

What if you have plans of your own

My hands will tremble when to say goodbye, I know

So maybe I will just close my eyes and you can run?

Please run away.

I will count till ten and then believe that what I saw was just a dream

I will pick my stuff and go home to let out that lump

You will have gone by that time and I will go to bed taking my sleeping pills

Try to sleep with your number half-written, half erased by the sweat dripping down my fingertips

It doesn’t even matter

I memorized it as soon as it flew out from your lips.

But since all of it comes down to be just a dream, I will pray to God that I see one like this again

And again, for the rest of my life.

Yours,

Me.