I want to be drunk too!

(When the men I take inspiration from,
are drunk,
then why should I exclude myself from the experience?)

#FillMeUp
#AndMakeMeComplete

I want to be drunk too!
And miss a few steps consciously
Experience what I haven’t seen yet through the outward eye
Enjoy not knowing,
While knowing that I do not know
and still be free!

I want to be drunk too!
Not for forgetting the moments that hurt, just for time being,
or break relationships that do not love back

But Oh dear,
I want to Tremble and be Vulnerable!
I want to be there in everything and yet,
be unaffected by anything, for eternity!

Oh I want to be drunk dear Moon!
I am looking up at you!
Pour down,
thy nectar on my lips
let me soak it in,
in this moment which is like no other moment of past or future.

Am I ready? Could I take it?
Could I go crazy?

Nevertheless I want to be drunk!
In your beauty, dear Moon!
I want to be unserious and dance through your love!

And lift up others to be able to look at you the way I can
Be nothing while being in everything!
I don’t ask for more than I need, Oh dear Moon!
Just one drop
that drips off you, is enough
When I am ready.

Hindu religious text “Garuda Purana” originally written by Vedavyas likely in 900 CE, talks in detail about what happens after we die

Finally it was new year
1st of January, 2020
At my home it’s supposed to be new dresses and temples and blessings.
We look forward to living with redeemed energy and love.
 
We did this time too, but very differently.
My grandfather’s blessings brought all our family members from different corners of the world together, something he always wished for.
Seeing us that way would have made his soul reach heaven peacefully.
 
This time on NYE, around 20 of us were sitting in a room in chilling cold,
listening to a religious scripture called “Garuda Purana“.
We had invited a learned person to read it out to all of us as we had little knowledge of it.
 
Note: People say Garuda purana should not be kept or read at home. It is only read on specific occasions. So if you are wondering to pick it up, kindly consult your elders.
 
Garuda is a bird who has a mix of Eagle and Human features and is the vehicle of Lord Vishnu. Sometimes believed to be the messenger between God and humans.
Garuda purana is based on the conversation between Lord Vishnu and Garuda.
 
Since it’s very vast, Guruji only read out the 16 chapters that were concerned with us at that point of time.
It went on for 4 days, part by part, and with every next page he turned, he told us about topics I never knew were mentioned in any Hindu religious text.
 
It was crazy but it made sense too.
It talks about what happens after we die.
 
It answers questions like-
Where do we go after we die?
Why do we go there?
How does hell look like?
How can we avoid hell?
Who comes to fetch our soul from our body after we die? And what do they look like?
Why are we born?
Why do we suffer?
Why can anyone never escape from their Karma?
 
Those who are happy, why are they happy?
What deeds lead to which form of life if one is reborn?
Why does a newborn baby cry when it comes out from its mother’s womb?
What procedures should be followed by the family members of the person who has died so that his soul can attain peace?
 
It tells us how powerful is God’s name. (Very)
This and so much more.
 
I don’t know if what’s written is real and if we can trust it. But it exists. It is written by Vedavyas. It may have been a part of the ‘whisper game’ while on its way to us, but that’s surely a long time and some change is acceptable.
 
In summary – God tells Garuda that if a man does good deeds, avoids doing bad deeds, helps people who are in need and takes God’s name then He will take care of the rest.
Also Karma is inescapable.
 
Have a good day! 🙂

Circles

We go around the same circles ALL THE TIME
And there are darker ones around my eyes
which are worn out cause they have been consistently moist.

I have grown thin now, I don’t eat so well
I don’t wish to
eat
Well.
Into which I know I shouldn’t jump, cause I can’t swim
Then how did I land into this one?
I am sure I wasn’t dragged or dropped
Maybe I was told not to, so I did. Just to prove a point.

Not even a point
Makes sense now
To be in these circles
To cry for help in vain cause you are too deep inside the mess
for anybody to hear you.

There is a possibility of a life outside, who knows
Where my eyes would be unswollen, bigger
My smile wider,
Where I would wish for the next day to come, while going to bed every night
Because I would know,
That like today, tomorrow too, I would be walking into happier ways.

What is Talent?

Talent. How does it look?

Talent is attractive
It attracts people
It attracts dreams
It never lets shape, skin, age
come anywhere in between.

It’s like the nectar of a flower
All the bees just want to hover over it,
and over it, all day long.
They don’t even know its name. They are pulled by its fragrance, its brightness alone.


But did the flowers ever imagine they would want bees all around them?

Talent makes you want things that were never thought for you
Makes you break the rules

It is such a rush, ALL the time!
It wants to come out, all at once!
Even when your mind and body are not ready for it.
It doesn’t care, cause it’s SO RAW.

It’s often brazen, can hardly think for itself.
It only demands
more of you, from you.

Talent. What does it do?
Talent innovates
Gives birth to things that were never seen or felt before.

It is SO MUCH FUN
when it’s fresh,
when you have just begun to feel it through your veins.

How CRAZILY you try to make it yours, show it off,
work for it, to not lose it.

But talent is never lost.
It’s either active or dormant.
It depends on how we invoke it
out, from ourselves.

Skills rust, not talent.
Talent is so beautiful that it makes people fall in love,
just like that.
So easily. With a click of the fingers.

Talent is a blessing.
And should be used like one.

Talent is so much more than this, that I need a book with two hundred pages to fill it with. And there’d still be more.

Help.

I was barely breathing,
Badly screaming
Such a time I would see I didn’t know.

You were supposed to bloody help me!
But you left me there to wither.

Now I am just a stem with a petal or two.
You can still hold me, though it won’t be a sight like before.

I may still have a little fragrance left
But not the strength.

Well that said, it would be easier for you to crush me now.

Parts

Yesterday I saw a dream.

I was a candle
beige,
roughly the size of your palm
in a room with an early moon.

Burning,

giving off all my light
melting one drop at a time.

And you were there too, collecting all my parts as they fell.

Me

Bright lights
New dresses
One red and one black too
That new house
Old wine
Spending money as you blink
Giving me all your time!

But hey!
Me not an ocean here!
Me just a mug
Can hold it only till the brink
Be it hurt or love
And when you stuff in that extra care,
Me starts spilling hormones everywhere!

So, sweetheart, it’s okay to lemme fall a few times!
Me made of steel
So won’t break like a glass
Me don’t like so much attention
But like to stand first in class

Me gonna serve you with juice in the morning
And with water when you thirsty
Me knows you want me to give you wine too,
Even though you never ask.
Me would,
but me too ordinary for that…

Me not presentable
Not slender like the other few
Dents here and there, from falling.
Me very simple,
Often afraid of drying and ending up empty someday
So much in love with you that Me knows Me don’t deserve you
So just waiting for you, to lemme down once.

This is what I sat and wrote about by the River…

I get ready
I choose my finest dress
I step into pencils
And click out of my address

To another,
hosting a party in through the big, red gate
I do like red,
But will have to excuse this date.

I cross the big gate and walk towards the river
Rubbing the blue robe on the street all through the way
I can’t walk fast so shall I rather try to run?
So that I break them heels to make an excuse to throw them away?

I reach halfway, still clicking on the ground
It’s getting dark, I see fewer people around
It’s good because that is what I would like for tonight
Just me, a pen-a paper, watching the flowing river in the moonlight.

I finally reach the banks, it must be cold
Cause’ the only folks I see, they shiver
My skin doesn’t move, not an inch
As I stand there straight, looking right into the river

I climb downstairs, now I am closer
Just a few steps and my hands will be wet
It’s the Ganges and we worship it first with its water in our hands
Before our feet inside it we set.

Now it’s silent, I can’t hear a soul
Only the water, flowing
Touching my soul.

I sit,
I want to stay there
Till the color of my robe matches the color of the sky
Till when there are plenty of sparkles
shining out of my eyes.

I want to sit by the river
And think of the times
When I was there barefoot
And my clothes didn’t shine
When dad would push me in
Making a big, thunderous sound!
But instead of sailing,
My ship would drown!

I want to sit by the river
And think of how
He would catch hold of me
And pull me out somehow

“Ready for another push?”
He wouldn’t ask, I wouldn’t allow.
Next moment, I would be in the water again,
Struggling to swim somehow!

I want to lie by the river
And think about you
About the similar peace
That I would get with you…

I want to touch the river
As if it was you
I will swim through it tonight thinking it was you
I want to hold it and kiss it thinking it was you
But damn!
It would slip out of hands as if it was really you!

I want to walk by the river
Thinking of my friends
My priceless possessions,
My everlasting trends
My babies, my parents
My strength, my ears
With whom I have shared all my laughter,
My fears.

I will not waste a second thinking about the people who left
They don’t matter anymore, not because they left
But the ones who managed to stay even after they left
Are the people I will sit and smile about by the river…

I will think about the relations that lived
Will not whine about the ones whom life dismissed
But those which fell off weak even after I built them for years
Are the ones I will sit and cry about by the river…

I will wipe off my tears,
When it’s the break of dawn I see,
Now I will let go of the gold
And let go of the heels

I will hide them
And pretend as if I lost them in the dark!
Now I am barefoot again and suddenly my eyes have a spark!

I am waiting,
Maybe dad would come and push me back into the river?
Wondering if now he would ask for permission since we are older?
Hoping this time, I will sail through the river
Explore a direction I had been to never.
Hoping I will find my way back home, like ever
To the people we call as family, or rather call them forever?

I will not forget to think about the people I love
Whom I couldn’t have with me, forever?
Whom I dream about every day,
For whom I could get locked up in a cellar

Whom I wish get everything they ever want in their life
Love, success, compassion in their life
Whom I could give up my dreams for,
Let alone my life
These are the people I will sit and Pray for by the river
These are all the people I will sit and write about by the River…