This is what I sat and wrote about by the River…

I get ready
I choose my finest dress
I step into pencils
And click out of my address

To another,
hosting a party in through the big, red gate
I do like red,
But will have to excuse this date.

I cross the big gate and walk towards the river
Rubbing the blue robe on the street all through the way
I can’t walk fast so shall I rather try to run?
So that I break them heels to make an excuse to throw them away?

I reach halfway, still clicking on the ground
It’s getting dark, I see fewer people around
It’s good because that is what I would like for tonight
Just me, a pen-a paper, watching the flowing river in the moonlight.

I finally reach the banks, it must be cold
Cause’ the only folks I see, they shiver
My skin doesn’t move, not an inch
As I stand there straight, looking right into the river

I climb downstairs, now I am closer
Just a few steps and my hands will be wet
It’s the Ganges and we worship it first with its water in our hands
Before our feet inside it we set.

Now it’s silent, I can’t hear a soul
Only the water, flowing
Touching my soul.

I sit,
I want to stay there
Till the color of my robe matches the color of the sky
Till when there are plenty of sparkles
shining out of my eyes.

I want to sit by the river
And think of the times
When I was there barefoot
And my clothes didn’t shine
When dad would push me in
Making a big, thunderous sound!
But instead of sailing,
My ship would drown!

I want to sit by the river
And think of how
He would catch hold of me
And pull me out somehow

“Ready for another push?”
He wouldn’t ask, I wouldn’t allow.
Next moment, I would be in the water again,
Struggling to swim somehow!

I want to lie by the river
And think about you
About the similar peace
That I would get with you…

I want to touch the river
As if it was you
I will swim through it tonight thinking it was you
I want to hold it and kiss it thinking it was you
But damn!
It would slip out of hands as if it was really you!

I want to walk by the river
Thinking of my friends
My priceless possessions,
My everlasting trends
My babies, my parents
My strength, my ears
With whom I have shared all my laughter,
My fears.

I will not waste a second thinking about the people who left
They don’t matter anymore, not because they left
But the ones who managed to stay even after they left
Are the people I will sit and smile about by the river…

I will think about the relations that lived
Will not whine about the ones whom life dismissed
But those which fell off weak even after I built them for years
Are the ones I will sit and cry about by the river…

I will wipe off my tears,
When it’s the break of dawn I see,
Now I will let go of the gold
And let go of the heels

I will hide them
And pretend as if I lost them in the dark!
Now I am barefoot again and suddenly my eyes have a spark!

I am waiting,
Maybe dad would come and push me back into the river?
Wondering if now he would ask for permission since we are older?
Hoping this time, I will sail through the river
Explore a direction I had been to never.
Hoping I will find my way back home, like ever
To the people we call as family, or rather call them forever?

I will not forget to think about the people I love
Whom I couldn’t have with me, forever?
Whom I dream about every day,
For whom I could get locked up in a cellar

Whom I wish get everything they ever want in their life
Love, success, compassion in their life
Whom I could give up my dreams for,
Let alone my life
These are the people I will sit and Pray for by the river
These are all the people I will sit and write about by the River…

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Alone on the top

I climb the stairs one by one
Losing my people as I come
Closer to the top
Don’t know what have I become
Is it alright?

At night I look out of my window to see
A peaceful street ever-so-lonely
Much less than my life I bet
Tricked by dreams and debts.

The streetlight suddenly shimmers and I look again outside
A few people just passed by, out of my sight
It’s about to rain and before the night starts getting wet
I quickly grab my phone and switch on the internet.

I position the camera to capture the sky
But since too tired and sick of posting stuff online
So I just capture it and print it and write this story on it’s behind

That when I leave it and someone gets it,
They have my words on their mind.
On their lips, in their hearts|
A little moment I’ll define.
This moment of theirs particularly to me I’ll confine.

I’ll tell them it’s okay to be alone
Well at least for sometime
And that life is huge and people affluent
Surely some good company you’ll find!

Don’t just adjust for anything just cause everything else seems undefined
Define it,
Give it words
Style It
Call the birds
Tell them to tell the world
At the break of dawn
About it.

That’s about it. I guess I am done for tonight.

Running

I was running out of words

As I have run out of feelings

There are cuts, burns

But they never make me cry

There are people, scary

But I never speak in shriek

My voice is firm since a while

I don’t care what people say

There are going to say anyway

So I let them.

I think we all are waters

Some boil underground

Some are frozen over hills.

But I am the one who comes in your tap

Since the one who is running is only me.

I have lost a few and I don’t want to get them back

Since, I feel I lost them for good

Or may be that they left me for good

Their own good

Maybe they are better off without me

Because I am the one who comes in your tap, not them

Some use me, some save me, some throw me away

But I am always running

I don’t know from what, or whom

I don’t know when God has planned to turn off the tap

Or if He has plans to give me another direction

But today

I have got to run

Because that’s the only thing I know.

giving love is so difficult?

them – it’s your birthday week, tell us what gift do you want?

me love.

them– What? We’ve got dollar bills, don’t you want something else? Dress? A watch maybe?

meno, just love.

them– Ask for something which we can give.

It makes me sleep on the couch without a question!

I was tired and was about to sleep yesterday night when suddenly it showed up in my room!

Without giving my thought any second thoughts, I jumped out of my bed, taking my pillow and my bed sheet in one stretch and ran out of the room!

I kept my things on the couch that was in the hall and tried to divert my mind. Sleep was gone away and the couch was small, my legs weren’t fitting.

At midnight, my grandma came out of her room to switch off the fan running in the hall, thinking that mistakenly I had left it on. She asked me why I was there and I told her everything. She said she would help me, no actually I wouldn’t do anything so yeah she said she would shoo it off (all by herself)  from my room in the morning.

Morning came too early and we were all awake by 4. We have a festival here so my grandma had to do preparations. My grandpa was simply moving around.

At 09:00 I begged her to go to my room and check it out. Thankfully she agreed and went in with a broom stick.

She was moving all the card boards and the boxes in the area where I told her that I had seen it.

Okay! It was a lizard! I saw it the night before. It was big, it was huge, it was dark , it had some kinda spots and it’s already freaking me out so I will stop describing it!

My grandma was trying to find it but then when she couldn’t she told me something. That was the reason that I wrote this post today! Whatever she told me, Idk if it was funny or fascinating, I will write it down.

Me: See carefully it will be there in that corner only! I am sure it went there last night!

Grandma: It has probably gone now. It has other jobs to take care of.

Jobs? She can’t be serious!

Me: What job would it possibly have?

Grandma: What? It can’t sit here all day in your room! It has its own works to complete.

Me: What works?!

Grandma: Who will find food for it? It has to only go in search of it.

Hahaha! Surprised by her answer I decided not to speak anything in return. At the last she couldn’t find it in my room and so I planned to sleep on the sofa tonight as well.

Me: I will sleep outside tonight. Just in case.

Grandma: What are you going to do in your life? Lizards are there in all homes you can’t be afraid of them. They don’t do anything they just move here and there and then go back. They don’t do any harm!

She can’t be serious. They move around and go back? And all homes? Who said that? My home is definitely going to be free of them and of all other insects. And if, if by any chance it comes in, well I will be having neighbours for sure!

Anyways,

Good Morning! 😀

You as a habit are stronger than I thought!

Now when it’s all over and I wake up alone

I go to fetch some coffee as usual, at six

I don’t like it, it tastes different today

Should I call and ask you how many spoons of sugar you used to mix?

I can’t right? Because I am made to know that you are gone?

So I get ready to go to work, but I don’t see any car outside

You taught me that taxis were not for us

And now who is going to give me a ride?

I somehow reach office on foot

You as a habit are stronger than I thought

But now how do I concentrate on work

When there is no coffee packed in my coffee pot?

So I fetch some of it from the canteen

It tastes bitter; I guess it was made to exactly match my mood

I leave it on the table and forget about it

What had to be done with your memories, I guess I understood.

I pack my bag, the empty flask

Then walk myself to the now-empty place 

I wonder if I was in love with you

Or it’s your coffee that I can’t replace?

I thought we would last longer

Longer as in till the Sun ran out of its light

We still had to finish that list, remember?

The one which we started that night?

It looks quite simple as I write about it

But it’s actually very hard to go through

I am planning to cut the coffee tonight

Like beans on the ground, all my parts you have strewed.

So I am planning to brew some coffee while asleep

I wonder if I have still got that fire burning in my heart

If not me, it will definitely know my taste

If not it, who will join back my parts?

So when I wake up tomorrow, as usual by six

I will know the proportions by heart

Though now I have decided to reach office on foot, it’s good for health!

Few people and habits just leave you smart!

few things just happen to give you memories! :D

They were sitting on the corner with water clean

one colored red and one was green

On whose right lay an orange too

juicy till the brim, there was one in blue.

Walking with sleepy eyes I stumbled on the one in white

suddenly the room thundered, but with no light!

The then sisters in peace were now sisters in crime

altogether they fell down in a line!

The juice was all over me, I was bathing at mid-night

there was only limitless water in my sight

My mom called out from the other room,

“I heard some sound, are you fine?”

Dumbstruck, I started rushing for the wiper

while the floor began to shine.