Help.

I was barely breathing,
Badly screaming
Such a time I would see I didn’t know.

You were supposed to bloody help me!
But you left me there to wither.

Now I am just a stem with a petal or two.
You can still hold me, though it won’t be a sight like before.

I may still have a little fragrance left
But not the strength.

Well that said, it would be easier for you to crush me now.

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This is what I sat and wrote about by the River…

I get ready
I choose my finest dress
I step into pencils
And click out of my address

To another,
hosting a party in through the big, red gate
I do like red,
But will have to excuse this date.

I cross the big gate and walk towards the river
Rubbing the blue robe on the street all through the way
I can’t walk fast so shall I rather try to run?
So that I break them heels to make an excuse to throw them away?

I reach halfway, still clicking on the ground
It’s getting dark, I see fewer people around
It’s good because that is what I would like for tonight
Just me, a pen-a paper, watching the flowing river in the moonlight.

I finally reach the banks, it must be cold
Cause’ the only folks I see, they shiver
My skin doesn’t move, not an inch
As I stand there straight, looking right into the river

I climb downstairs, now I am closer
Just a few steps and my hands will be wet
It’s the Ganges and we worship it first with its water in our hands
Before our feet inside it we set.

Now it’s silent, I can’t hear a soul
Only the water, flowing
Touching my soul.

I sit,
I want to stay there
Till the color of my robe matches the color of the sky
Till when there are plenty of sparkles
shining out of my eyes.

I want to sit by the river
And think of the times
When I was there barefoot
And my clothes didn’t shine
When dad would push me in
Making a big, thunderous sound!
But instead of sailing,
My ship would drown!

I want to sit by the river
And think of how
He would catch hold of me
And pull me out somehow

“Ready for another push?”
He wouldn’t ask, I wouldn’t allow.
Next moment, I would be in the water again,
Struggling to swim somehow!

I want to lie by the river
And think about you
About the similar peace
That I would get with you…

I want to touch the river
As if it was you
I will swim through it tonight thinking it was you
I want to hold it and kiss it thinking it was you
But damn!
It would slip out of hands as if it was really you!

I want to walk by the river
Thinking of my friends
My priceless possessions,
My everlasting trends
My babies, my parents
My strength, my ears
With whom I have shared all my laughter,
My fears.

I will not waste a second thinking about the people who left
They don’t matter anymore, not because they left
But the ones who managed to stay even after they left
Are the people I will sit and smile about by the river…

I will think about the relations that lived
Will not whine about the ones whom life dismissed
But those which fell off weak even after I built them for years
Are the ones I will sit and cry about by the river…

I will wipe off my tears,
When it’s the break of dawn I see,
Now I will let go of the gold
And let go of the heels

I will hide them
And pretend as if I lost them in the dark!
Now I am barefoot again and suddenly my eyes have a spark!

I am waiting,
Maybe dad would come and push me back into the river?
Wondering if now he would ask for permission since we are older?
Hoping this time, I will sail through the river
Explore a direction I had been to never.
Hoping I will find my way back home, like ever
To the people we call as family, or rather call them forever?

I will not forget to think about the people I love
Whom I couldn’t have with me, forever?
Whom I dream about every day,
For whom I could get locked up in a cellar

Whom I wish get everything they ever want in their life
Love, success, compassion in their life
Whom I could give up my dreams for,
Let alone my life
These are the people I will sit and Pray for by the river
These are all the people I will sit and write about by the River…

Alone on the top

I climb the stairs one by one
Losing my people as I come
Closer to the top
Don’t know what have I become
Is it alright?

At night I look out of my window to see
A peaceful street ever-so-lonely
Much less than my life I bet
Tricked by dreams and debts.

The streetlight suddenly shimmers and I look again outside
A few people just passed by, out of my sight
It’s about to rain and before the night starts getting wet
I quickly grab my phone and switch on the internet.

I position the camera to capture the sky
But since too tired and sick of posting stuff online
So I just capture it and print it and write this story on it’s behind

That when I leave it and someone gets it,
They have my words on their mind.
On their lips, in their hearts|
A little moment I’ll define.
This moment of theirs particularly to me I’ll confine.

I’ll tell them it’s okay to be alone
Well at least for sometime
And that life is huge and people affluent
Surely some good company you’ll find!

Don’t just adjust for anything just cause everything else seems undefined
Define it,
Give it words
Style It
Call the birds
Tell them to tell the world
At the break of dawn
About it.

That’s about it. I guess I am done for tonight.

You

I may be very successful in my life and get everything I want… but my life will only be complete if I am successful in giving you everything that you want.

I allow you

What am I gonna write about today?
Is it gonna be about me or you?
If it’s about me, then I’ve got a few lines on my forehead.
If it’s you, you just got a Ready -> Get -> Set

Go! Live your life the way you please! I a-love you!
I heard your complaints so, please! Break all the chains yourself, cause I have lost the strength and have lost the keys!
Thinking I wouldn’t need them again.

But now I wanna set you free, cause love doesn’t bind, does it? It listens
So, as I write this today, now no other day
Shall I tell you to do anything for the sake of me,
I have said enough already.

Nor shall I ask you to not do any shit for the sake of our future-to-be.
I Release You, Open, no more boundations,
And you shall get all my love till my heart permits

But only love is what I shall give, you don’t get to get me.
Cause’if you do want me by your side when we breathe our last, then I should tie you up to myself, tight,
And lose the keys again. 

One moment we burst, like never before

and collide through our skins,

Our words are hot, bodies cold,

and anger takes on a ten fold.

 

Then it rains,

and we drop our temperatures from the seventh floor

We integrate.

You break into drops and fall into me

I turn into Upsalite,

accepting all of you in.

 

Now we have our days,

cohesive, tight, fitting right into each other

believing death is our only bitch

that can throw us apart.

 

We reside on the seventh cloud

with passion in the wind

riding through our sins

passing out every night, just to wake up all anew.

 

But then we burst again, like never before

colliding through our skin

hotter words, colder bodies

riding through our sins.

 

So we let go and fall back to the Start

With number one we begin again

Levels of doucheness

Margins of pain

 

But hey! Darling, I don’t care

of the number of cycles we repeat through,

for as long as you are standing at the Start with me

I am always ready to begin anew.

 

 

dear you

Dear You,

I was wondering maybe one day we meet again
And you come out of your way and say hello
I will obviously be lost in your eyes, I know, I will
So it’s gotta be you who’s got to break the ice

Talk about anything! Say the weather?
Or about how bright the moon was to shine in some time
Cause’ my Sun was, no wait, has always been you and for some reasons,
I have been living in the dark since a while

I will start to cry, so sure I will
But then I know we will be in public and you might have brought a company
So I will negotiate it for a lump in my throat

Will we stop by the stationery and get a pen?
Maybe we can Share our numbers again
Just to wash them off our palms in the rain
Or maybe the sweat? Well yea I would be too nervous to explain

I will go home and type your name in the search bar, stalk you down
I have got children of my own but then God! We are once again in the same town!I still miss you! I hope it’s not a sin right now
I know, the man whom I kissed at the church will forgive me somehow

He has been giving me all his love without a single demand
But I had already poured all of mine into this person with my number on his hand
I will obviously ask you to come over, if only I have the strength
I could introduce you to my baby son and my daughter, she is ten!They don’t look like you, God I wish they could!
If only that day we had talked that shit out, maybe they would

It’s a small town, my home will be somewhere around the corner, I am sure
But then what if you are busy like always
What if you have plans of your own
My hands will tremble when to say goodbye, I know


So maybe I will just close my eyes and you can run?
Please run away.
I will count till ten and then believe that what I saw was just a dream
I will pick my stuff and go home to let out that lump

You will have gone by that time and I will go to bed taking my sleeping pills
Try to sleep with your number half-written, half erased by the sweat dripping down my fingertips
It doesn’t even matter
I memorized it as soon as it flew out from your lips.

But since all of it comes down to be just a dream, I will pray to God that I see one like this again
And again, for the rest of my life.

Yours,
Me.