Alone on the top

I climb the stairs one by one
Losing my people as I come
Closer to the top
Don’t know what have I become
Is it alright?

At night I look out of my window to see
A peaceful street ever-so-lonely
Much less than my life I bet
Tricked by dreams and debts.

The streetlight suddenly shimmers and I look again outside
A few people just passed by, out of my sight
It’s about to rain and before the night starts getting wet
I quickly grab my phone and switch on the internet.

I position the camera to capture the sky
But since too tired and sick of posting stuff online
So I just capture it and print it and write this story on it’s behind

That when I leave it and someone gets it,
They have my words on their mind.
On their lips, in their hearts|
A little moment I’ll define.
This moment of theirs particularly to me I’ll confine.

I’ll tell them it’s okay to be alone
Well at least for sometime
And that life is huge and people affluent
Surely some good company you’ll find!

Don’t just adjust for anything just cause everything else seems undefined
Define it,
Give it words
Style It
Call the birds
Tell them to tell the world
At the break of dawn
About it.

That’s about it. I guess I am done for tonight.


is it because of that pearl? (am I kidding myself?) (but who knows!)

I have exams going since last week and sure as hell, they aren’t going on as expected. After every exam came a feeling, a very depressing feeling which I would put aside for the time being. But I am worried about this big jar, which is trying to speak to me for a while.

hey nik!                                                                    

since few days you have been stuffing your regret, unhappiness, sorrow, worries, pain and what not, in my depths and trying to stay cool. But now I might not take it anymore. What if I explode? Can you take it? “

That jar is probably my own heart.

3-4 years back, I would often submit my exam papers incomplete because of less time. I would leave something or the other and then lose my marks. Then came class 12th. My parents were worried and hence consulted one very enlightened soul asking him about me. He made calculations and said that my stars would be happier if I wore the three gems- the pearl, the yellow sapphire and the coral.

In no time my parents made me have all three of them on my body. Two on my fingers and one on my neck. The gem should be touching you in some way that’s what’s important.

When I first wore them, my friends at school would make fun of me for believing in these things. So after a week I took them out. My parents obviously didn’t like it. Class 12th passed.

“Nikita, we have spent a lot for getting the right ones prepared for you! At least wear them for our sake! ” 

What would I do? No I couldn’t do anything. In those days emotional blackmail would always get hold of me. I slid them back into my fingers.

Suddenly, I wouldn’t submit my papers incomplete. My grades got better. And since then I had never taken them out.  But recently, the pearl on my right hand’s little finger came out of its case and fell down! Thankfully I found it but couldn’t fit it back myself. So I kept it in my bag and haven’t been wearing it for a week. For “the” week.

I am afraid it’s the pearl.

(I might be kidding myself, but who knows? I haven’t studied the stars for sure, but still we can’t deny that they do exist! ” )

(p.s- I don’t want to mislead anyone, but I strongly believe that hard work pays. Tomorrow is my last exam. I have to design web pages. So I’ll study today better than before and then let’s hope for the best that I don’t need to use my jar tomorrow! )