We go around the same circles ALL THE TIME
And there are darker ones around my eyes
which are worn out cause they have been consistently moist.
I have grown thin now, I don’t eat so well
I don’t wish to
Into which I know I shouldn’t jump, cause I can’t swim
Then how did I land into this one?
I am sure I wasn’t dragged or dropped
Maybe I was told not to, so I did. Just to prove a point.
Not even a point
Makes sense now
To be in these circles
To cry for help in vain cause you are too deep inside the mess
for anybody to hear you.
There is a possibility of a life outside, who knows
Where my eyes would be unswollen, bigger
My smile wider,
Where I would wish for the next day to come, while going to bed every night
Because I would know,
That like today, tomorrow too, I would be walking into happier ways.
I was barely breathing,
Such a time I would see I didn’t know.
You were supposed to bloody help me!
But you left me there to wither.
Now I am just a stem with a petal or two.
You can still hold me, though it won’t be a sight like before.
I may still have a little fragrance left
But not the strength.
Well that said, it would be easier for you to crush me now.
One red and one black too
That new house
Spending money as you blink
Giving me all your time!
Me not an ocean here!
Me just a mug
Can hold it only till the brink
Be it hurt or love
And when you stuff in that extra care,
Me starts spilling hormones everywhere!
So, sweetheart, it’s okay to lemme fall a few times!
Me made of steel
So won’t break like a glass
Me don’t like so much attention
But like to stand first in class
Me gonna serve you with juice in the morning
And with water when you thirsty
Me knows you want me to give you wine too,
Even though you never ask.
but me too ordinary for that…
Me not presentable
Not slender like the other few
Dents here and there, from falling.
Me very simple,
Often afraid of drying and ending up empty someday
So much in love with you that Me knows Me don’t deserve you
So just waiting for you, to lemme down once.
I get ready
I choose my finest dress
I step into pencils
And click out of my address
hosting a party in through the big, red gate
I do like red,
But will have to excuse this date.
I cross the big gate and walk towards the river
Rubbing the blue robe on the street all through the way
I can’t walk fast so shall I rather try to run?
So that I break them heels to make an excuse to throw them away?
I reach halfway, still clicking on the ground
It’s getting dark, I see fewer people around
It’s good because that is what I would like for tonight
Just me, a pen-a paper, watching the flowing river in the moonlight.
I finally reach the banks, it must be cold
Cause’ the only folks I see, they shiver
My skin doesn’t move, not an inch
As I stand there straight, looking right into the river
I climb downstairs, now I am closer
Just a few steps and my hands will be wet
It’s the Ganges and we worship it first with its water in our hands
Before our feet inside it we set.
Now it’s silent, I can’t hear a soul
Only the water, flowing
Touching my soul.
I want to stay there
Till the color of my robe matches the color of the sky
Till when there are plenty of sparkles
shining out of my eyes.
I want to sit by the river
And think of the times
When I was there barefoot
And my clothes didn’t shine
When dad would push me in
Making a big, thunderous sound!
But instead of sailing,
My ship would drown!
I want to sit by the river
And think of how
He would catch hold of me
And pull me out somehow
“Ready for another push?”
He wouldn’t ask, I wouldn’t allow.
Next moment, I would be in the water again,
Struggling to swim somehow!
I want to lie by the river
And think about you
About the similar peace
That I would get with you…
I want to touch the river
As if it was you
I will swim through it tonight thinking it was you
I want to hold it and kiss it thinking it was you
It would slip out of hands as if it was really you!
I want to walk by the river
Thinking of my friends
My priceless possessions,
My everlasting trends
My babies, my parents
My strength, my ears
With whom I have shared all my laughter,
I will not waste a second thinking about the people who left
They don’t matter anymore, not because they left
But the ones who managed to stay even after they left
Are the people I will sit and smile about by the river…
I will think about the relations that lived
Will not whine about the ones whom life dismissed
But those which fell off weak even after I built them for years
Are the ones I will sit and cry about by the river…
I will wipe off my tears,
When it’s the break of dawn I see,
Now I will let go of the gold
And let go of the heels
I will hide them
And pretend as if I lost them in the dark!
Now I am barefoot again and suddenly my eyes have a spark!
I am waiting,
Maybe dad would come and push me back into the river?
Wondering if now he would ask for permission since we are older?
Hoping this time, I will sail through the river
Explore a direction I had been to never.
Hoping I will find my way back home, like ever
To the people we call as family, or rather call them forever?
I will not forget to think about the people I love
Whom I couldn’t have with me, forever?
Whom I dream about every day,
For whom I could get locked up in a cellar
Whom I wish get everything they ever want in their life
Love, success, compassion in their life
Whom I could give up my dreams for,
Let alone my life
These are the people I will sit and Pray for by the river
These are all the people I will sit and write about by the River…
I climb the stairs one by one
Losing my people as I come
Closer to the top
Don’t know what have I become
Is it alright?
At night I look out of my window to see
A peaceful street ever-so-lonely
Much less than my life I bet
Tricked by dreams and debts.
The streetlight suddenly shimmers and I look again outside
A few people just passed by, out of my sight
It’s about to rain and before the night starts getting wet
I quickly grab my phone and switch on the internet.
I position the camera to capture the sky
But since too tired and sick of posting stuff online
So I just capture it and print it and write this story on it’s behind
That when I leave it and someone gets it,
They have my words on their mind.
On their lips, in their hearts|
A little moment I’ll define.
This moment of theirs particularly to me I’ll confine.
I’ll tell them it’s okay to be alone
Well at least for sometime
And that life is huge and people affluent
Surely some good company you’ll find!
Don’t just adjust for anything just cause everything else seems undefined
Give it words
Call the birds
Tell them to tell the world
At the break of dawn
That’s about it. I guess I am done for tonight.