It’s 6 in the evening.
I come home after work, change and sit in the living room to have snacks. For company I tune in some random channel on the T.V.
Guess which movie is being telecasted?
My over-protective inner self: “Nikita change it. It ain’t good for ya..”
So I try to change the channel but nothing else seems to be coming and the movie had just started so that was the happy part going on, for the moment.
My inviting-vulnerabilities inner self: “What will I lose? Let me just watch it till I finish the snacks. Things are different now, maybe it wouldn’t affect me so much!”
I had first seen this movie before 4 years and with the over sensitive being that I am, I was disturbed for days, especially after knowing that a part of that stuff was real.
(Notebook is a romantic novel based on a True Story written by Nicholas Sparks in 1996, inspired by his wife’s grandparents who had been married for more than 60 sixty years when he met them.) (Source: Google)
In no time 60 minutes pass by and my roommate comes home. I am so glad that she doesn’t sit and talk with me and straight away heads towards the room. I need my space so that I can do whatever I want without being stared at.
But what is it that I want to do at the moment?
I cry as Martha Shaw comes in. As everyday, willingly of course, she is invited and yet rejected, loved and yet made to feel small.
When Noah takes Allie on the boat, which he built himself, and later takes her to the house, which again, he built himself.
As they sit in THE Room drinking beer and the way he looks at her.
As Allie sits there naked and paints.
When her mom drives her to this construction site and tells her that she truly loves her father but how once she was madly in love with that guy who is still working at that site and how her life could have been different if she had tried a little harder.
When Allie reads his letters sitting in the car. As they fight only to come back together. All the freakin’ time. Every time.
How they grow old together, how they die TOGETHER. Even being so old when they can hardly stand still without support, how they still kissed with that holy intense love.
I mean that’s too much to handle with closed lips so I open my mouth and cry.
And just then my roommate comes out of the room!
My conscious inner-self: “Embarrassing!! Nikita stop crying now.”
My brain and heart and other organs: “Well it’s too late now for that!”
So I keep crying no matter what and my eyes swell and mean while my roommate tries her best to divert my mind.
She cracks jokes, makes me laugh for a second only to lose me again to the movie in the next.
In a few minutes the movie gets over.
I get up, go to wash my face.
My solicitous inner self: “Nikita she tried so hard to make you laugh when you were tearing up on that movie. That was really sweet of her.”
Recently a bee had stung me on my finger and the whole area had swelled up like a potato! It was really painful and I had thought of sleeping hungry or else ordering from outside that day.
But situation’s changed now, so with that swollen hand I go to cook.
Me: “Had dinner?”
My roommate: “No.. too tired to cook!”
Me: “Okay, you wanna have Uthapam?”
My roommate: “Yea even I was wondering maybe we could order something from outside.”
Me: “Don’t even worry! I’ll prepare it. Would you like to have?”
“ukw, Better have it, it’ll be nice I promise!”
And we sleep with full stomachs.
“Give love, get love”. Simple! 🙂 🙂
Picture credit : Google