It is very natural for all of us to have this feeling at some point of our lives. We feel a distance between other people and us. We feel like the ties have been broken. Relations are bad. No is there to hear us. No one to talk to, to complain about what bad things happened during the day, what good things happened which made you happy, what people you met today. Generally we like to talk these things out at the end of the day to someone and make our heavy hearts drop some weight. We like to show some love and get some love at the end of the day. But at times we may not have any one to talk to. Then? What do we do then? We can’t just go n kill ourselves out of the loneliness.
Why do you feel this way?
Generally this feeling of loneliness comes when you live alone. When you are away from your family. Then where do you find love? Friends. Now when you have fights with friends, you feel you are alone. Because suddenly at that point of time, you have no one. May be just for a while, but no one.
Few may go through this after breaking up from a relationship with someone. It can be anything. From a life partner to a best friend. That one person who is close to your heart. To whom you are the most vulnerable. Who has the potential to kill you but hasn’t . until now. And when this person suddenly leaves you life ( for what so ever reason) you start to die slowly. You don’t want to live anymore because life doesn’t seems of much worth without them.
The two kinds-
This “I have no one with me” feeling can be of two kinds. One when it’s just temporary and you know it too that things will be alright in a while. Another is when you know that what is gone is gone but are not able to move on. You are not able to convince yourself that a good time is waiting for you at the other end.
What most people do
When you feel low, at some point in your life. What do you do? Generally the following listed things will be very common-
- You stop eating (or eat too much)
- You don’t sleep (or sleep all day)
- You are quiet all the time
- You cry and have gloomy eyes (almost all the time)
- Your mind and body are not at the same place ever.
The most dangerous one, you stop smiling from your heart (though you may put on a fake smile)
What you shouldn’t do-
- Don’t enter a new relationship out of loneliness.
When you are at this position, you start to look out for someone or something that could please you for the moment. That could carry your heavy heart for a while. Who might not talk but would surely listen to all that you have to say. At this point, few people tend to go into totally new relationships, thus making themselves more vulnerable ( to more people now ). True relations just come along in your life. A new relation cannot be constructed on the remains of an older one. Do not just say “ I LOVE YOU” out of need or loneliness. Say it when you mean it. (When you are alone, don’t hold a hand just because you need to balance back in your life. Hold it only when you feel that your fingers exactly fit in theirs. Otherwise you could unbalance them too.)
- Habits– don’t take up the wrong ones
Often when people feel depressed and alone, they tend to get themselves into wrong activities. They go into the wrong circle. They drink, they smoke, they do drugs, they take pills, and gradually? They die!
Do not let yourself fall victim to these habits. They will not take you anywhere. They will rather take away whatever you are left with. They will consume what ever is left in you.
- DO NOT listen to sad songs and cry. That’s what most people do and which is bad for them.
What you should do-
- Work ( a lot)
The best thing to do when you are alone is to forget that you are alone. Get yourself busy at office. Do some great business. Meet some great clients and work, this time work for others, not for yourself. Work without expectations and demands. Get up early and exercise. This time, don’t choose to walk, don’t choose the slow pace, choose to run, to jog. Keep your mind busy. Be so tired when you come back home that even if you don’t have someone to talk to for the moment, it doesn’t hurt. Work so that it makes you want food. Eat it out of desire and hunger this time. Work so much that you sleep at night, even if you don’t want to. Work so much that you don’t have a choice but to be with yourself for the moment. And in this journey, you will fall in love with yourself. And when this happens, you see the Magic! Because when you love yourself, there are chances of everyone else around you to fall in love with you. And who knows? You might accidently, (i said accidently, not purposely 😀 don’t expect, that’s when you get the unexpected ) shake hands with someone and never have to leave it again? 😉
- Go for a trip
Though you can’t do this all the time, but sometimes it may help.
You need someone in your life. Everyone does. That’s what family is for. But make sure you don’t need them all the time, to help you out with everything in your life. At times, you have to be independent. take care of your own self.
hope it was helpful to you. even I learnt few things from what i just wrote. wait for my next post! I’ll wait for your response!